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Parenting // Discipline Less + Understand More

November 12, 2012 by Barbara Rucci 14 Comments

2162 shares
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How to raise a happy, successful, cooperative child while disciplining less // The Child Whisperer

Every once in a while, I come across something that I really feel like I need to share. This chart was created by Carol Tuttle, author of the book The Child Whisperer, which I have never read. I wish I had had this book when my girls were little to add to my parenting-book library. I’m now starting to buy the how-to-deal-with-teenagers variety. But I still have a six-year old and this chart has worked brilliantly twice already! I won’t bore you with my child’s almost-tantrums and how I avoided them, but suffice it to say that within 30 seconds of reading this chart I realized I had a sensitive little boy who wasn’t being heard by his busy mama.

I say we all print this out and hang it in the bathroom (the place I hide when I can’t take one more child crying…or the place where husbands might read it!).

Good luck mamas! And happy monday from your friend Bar ♡

xx

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: parenting book, The Child Whisperer, parenting advice

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Shiva

    November 12, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Bar – you rock – love your blog – love everything about you.

    Reply
  2. CJ

    November 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Genius… like you.

    Reply
  3. Lorah

    November 20, 2012 at 9:02 am

    I love this. And I think this could be helpful for teachers too.
    (Also, from what I’ve observed of your kids they’re 4, 3, 2 in age order…all with a dash of 1.)

    Reply
  4. Michelle

    August 18, 2013 at 2:54 am

    Just what I needed to read,thank you <3

    Reply
  5. Misty

    October 30, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    Oh my gosh, this answers so many of my questions about her tantrums! She is a determined child with not enough outlets for sure. Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Barbara Rucci

      November 2, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      glad this helped, misty. it’s always helpful to understand your child better. i need a refresher about every 6 months! xo bar

      Reply
  6. We Do Listen Foundation Team

    February 10, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Our non profit foundation offers 14 free animated books, songs, posters and lessons to help young children become better listeners, learn important life lessons and feel good about themselves.

    Reply
  7. Martha E

    June 11, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    Where do I purchase this chart, “How to Raise a Child” I would like to give as gift for baby showers and such.

    Reply
    • Barbara Rucci

      June 12, 2015 at 6:49 am

      hi martha, as far as I know it’s not for sale. but I didn’t make the chart, you can click the link to the author, Carol Tuttle, and maybe she sells it. good luck! xo bar

      Reply
  8. Anne

    July 17, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    what you said is amazing, I loved the four type of personality, what you suggested is based on respecting a child personality. a big like 🙂

    Reply
  9. Eh M

    September 10, 2016 at 1:36 am

    Sorry, but type 2 is NOT that simple and straight forward.

    Reply
  10. Sophie

    October 2, 2016 at 5:48 am

    Love this.

    Reply
    • Linda

      July 19, 2017 at 9:12 am

      What an amazing summary. Thanks for this. Will definitely hang this on my internal wall. Don’t want my sensitive son finding out. Haha.

      Reply
  11. Janine

    June 11, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Enjoyed this thanks! I had some great aha’s vfor my youngest but can’t see my elder daughter fitting very strongly into any of these 5….I’m looking for the ‘creative child’ archetype!

    As our girls continue to grow and develop I’m realising just how different they are and this info is a great prompt for thinking about how we can parent them in a conscious way based on their individual needs…thanks!

    Reply

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I have been thinking lately about so many big idea I have been thinking lately about so many big ideas. They seem to be stuck, though, in the cogs of my brain. I need to articulate and connect these ideas together, but I can’t find the right words, or medium. It feels like trudging through thick mud, and then making the choice to set up camp in the muddy place. Maybe this is always what motherhood + living a creative life will be. And I am ok with that, too. Life is mucky, and even though I crave clarity, I am also acutely aware that this is why I also crave art. Music, books, museums, film, gardens… these are the mediums humans turn to when they need to find connection and, if we are lucky, clarity. But I feel more protective of my human-centered ideas these days and less willing to share them in spaces like this where they are open source. I don’t even know what is real sometimes. And how am I contributing to this landscape of creative and intellectual robbery. I think I am headed in a different direction but I don’t know what that is yet. Meanwhile, I am camping in the mud and looking for beauty where I am. 

Some moments new and old, lately…

1. Painting at my easel, age 4 when we lived in England before moving to the US. 
2. I tried making a video of motherhood on mother’s day inspired by this song 🌙 but never finished. 
3. Planting dahlias 🌸
4. Year 2 of my veggie garden. It is not going well. 
5. We diagnosed our garden problem as not enough sun so cut down a tree to give the sun a little path but then the sun moved. Also failing at science 😳
6. When you see your habits in your children ❤️ 
7. My mom’s caretaker gave me a cake and now I am a whole year younger 🙏🏼
8. Thank you James for the treats, mom dreams of traveling to visit your bakery but this was the next best thing 🥐
9. Finding 50 bucks in jeans from 20 years ago 👏🏼 Always check the pockets!
10. The newly graduated makeup artist with her kit off to a job 💋 
11. When the birthday kid isn’t home it’s too sad. must make art. 
12. When I am so dumb and share it on the internet 🙃
13. My heart, my clarity ❤️
14. Another round of silkscreening! Things are happening. 
15. MUA by Ava, and hanging out with the help 😍
16. Reminder.
Happy Earth Day! Can we agree that every day is Happy Earth Day! 

Can we agree that every day is Earth Day? The older I get, the more I change my habits to be kinder to this beautiful planet. Lately, seeing the photos from Artemis II of Earth from space has really moved me to make even more planet-friendly choices. Here are some things we do at home, and of course, we could always be better, but I also think small changes are more doable and sustainable, and if millions of us did just one of these things, it would make a difference.

Ok, here goes! My hope is that someone reads one of these actions and thinks, I can do this! We cannot reverse the melting ice caps, but we can stop further global warming… humans can do this if we work together. It starts small and is community-driven, so share this with friends!

1. Eating less meat, eating more veggies (this is also called eating low on the food chain). A vegetarian or vegan diet is a low-carbon diet. Did you know switching to 2/3 vegan reduces your carbon footprint by 60%? 
2. Grow our own veggies. Save on emissions and packaging, and find joy in gardening.
3. Less food waste. Eat leftovers, clear the fridge.
4. Buy less. Buy local.
5. Repurpose, fix, mend, thrift.
6. Make homemade gifts.
7. Drive less, fly less. (This one is harder, but being conscious of it is really important.)
8. Moderate, steady thermostat settings can save so much energy. Try 67/68 F in the winter and 72/73 in the summer and don’t touch it.
9. No pesticides on our lawn. It may not be pretty, but we have never had a beautiful lawn, and I’m fine with that. We also live on a river so the thought of polluting that water so I can have a perfect lawn is crazy.
10. Using non-toxic cleaning products or making our own from vinegar.
11. This year, we will do “no-mow May” to promote biodiversity, help the soil, and reduce emissions.
12. Vote for candidates who take climate change seriously!

Add some things you are doing in the comments. This is a judgment-free zone, so no preaching! But for real, we all can do a little bit better. 

The blog post about these signs is on artbarblog.com, link in bio!
New blog post! It’s about time I share my favorite New blog post! It’s about time I share my favorite materials that I bring to the library. Read the post for links and tips for how to pair these materials to foster deep engagement. Children have always needed time in childhood to use their hands to make things and play, but now more than ever, the skills they develop through these experiences are imperative for their future well-being and success. I’ve been reading everywhere about children’s “lost skills” in this new ed tech world where screens have replaced so much hands-on learning in the classroom, even as young as preschool 😞 Communication skills, flexible thinking, regulating emotions, building empathy for others, innovating, even core strength and pencil grips are a struggle. Offering time and materials for making things and playing with ideas should not be a challenge; it should be as essential as filling bodies with fresh air and food. Play is how children learn! Anyway, I hope this post will inspire you to collect some things for making and maybe even join our Materials Matter course over on @the.creativityproject so that you, too, can become an expert at cultivating creative thinking through art making!
It’s almost impossible to concentrate or sleep or It’s almost impossible to concentrate or sleep or work or enjoy anything these days. I know joy is resistance, art is resistance, kindness and empathy are resistance, and I try and practice all of these things every day, and also boycotting and shopping local and volunteering and making calls and checking on my neighbors and bartering and keeping our big tree lit for the community. And still, it doesn’t feel like nearly enough. I know we probably all feel this way. And maybe the collective small things really do add up to bigger movements, I don’t know. It’s Sunday and my mom is in the hospital again and I miss my one at college and I had such a bad dream last night. My headspace is not in cheerleader mode which is my usual default. And yet… going through my camera roll to find photos of things I made did actually help today. And I have made a plan for future things to make. When I wake up in the middle of the night, the way I get myself back to sleep is by envisioning this one big installation idea I’ve had for years, it takes place in a forest and involves textiles. So maybe 2026 is the year for me to bring this to life, or begin the process. I think about this quote, and it helps, too: When you make art, you rebel against a world that fears vulnerability. Ok, I’m better. Thank you for listening 🤪❤️

Ps: It weighs on me that Meta should be part of the boycotts. If anyone has any ideas for building community and sharing somehow somewhere else let’s discuss.
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