I found this on the internet and just had to share.
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How to Know Whether or Not You Are Ready to Have a Kid
(Posted by the UC Berkeley Parents Network)
MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.
Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer
Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them out all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this will wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure all arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 pm begin to waltz with the bag until 9:00 pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these, too, until 4:00 am. Set alarm for 5:00 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
PHYSICAL TEST
Obtain large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.
Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child’s discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.
Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
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Congratulations to all of you who made it through another week raising kids. High fives!
xo Bar
{my favorite photo ever is the one above of my husband who is just about the best daddy in the world. parenting with him makes me laugh until i cry}
Oh my god! I am crying from laughter! I just read this with my husband. The night test is my favorite. “Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.” Thank you for sharing this!!! This is my life.
look cheerful – ha!!! love that on. xx
Oh my! So true! But do the goats throw tantrums in the store? With old people scowling at you? And the 55 gallons of Legos is completely true. Because with 3 kids, I’m sure we have that many Legos and twice as many Duplos! Keep looking cheerful, especially after stepping on a Lego! Thanks for a good laugh!
and alana…tantrums in grocery stores start up again when they are tweens! ahhhh! but yes, good for the soul to laugh at what it takes to be a parent. thanks for leaving your comment! xo bar
Uh oh…I think I fail the test and I have a three month old. It’s only a matter of time…dan dan dan. I’m not yet ready for peanut butter on curtains and fish sticks left in sofas! Help!!! 😉 This was hilarious…I especially love the bringing a goat to the grocery store bit! 🙂
vicky…you have time before the house gets trashed (and goats in the grocery store – ha!) now is the time for sleepless nights, uhgg. hang in there! glad you were able to have a laugh! (we all need to laugh so that we don’t cry, right?) xo bar
Thank you so much for this post. I couldn’t stop laughing!
The visuals of someone trying to dress an octopus was hysterical.
you’re welcome for the laugh belinda! it’s a good one to share with your tribe 🙂 xo bar