For Moms

Travel Art Bag

We’re back from our February vacation! It was beautiful in the Dominican Republic and we feel so fortunate that we were invited to share a very memorable family vacation with grandparents. Despite several trips to the infirmary for various problems (which I will not elaborate on because I am pretending none of that happened), we were able to relax, read, eat, play and best of all…create some pretty art! I threw together this little travel bag for the trip and it was perfect. I’ll include sources, but you can really just grab anything that you have on hand (or make a run to CVS) and even just put it in a ziplock! My goal was to get the kids to draw and paint from the beautiful nature that surrounded us. (I will share their art later this week.)

Here’s what I put in our travel art bag:

watercolors // colored pencils // washi tape // 1 pencil, 1 eraser, 1 sharpener, 1 sharpie // sketchbook // brushes // tempera paints // merimekko tote

I hope you had a nice little break as well (or will have one soon!). Don’t forget to pack a few art supplies when you travel!

{Travel tip: Remember, when traveling to a foreign country with small kids, curtail the habit of picking off of your kids’ plates or having your kids share any food. Also, don’t share utensils or have the whole family drink from the same water bottle at the airport. And wash hands frequently! Sickness could be spreading and you won’t even know it until it’s too late. And that’s all I have to say about that.}

27 Feb 2013By: Barbara Rucci Category: Crafts, Create, DIY, Easy, Explore, Featured, For Moms, Travel Tags: art bag, art supplies, travel, travel art bag

Tell Them “I Like You”

I made this poster for my kiddos for Valentine’s day today. It is Version 2. Funny story, actually, about how those three influence me creatively, and push me to be a better parent. You can read it below, or just enjoy the art!

So the other night, as I lay next to him on his bed, my sensitive and sweet little six-year old boy asks, “Do you like me?” I remain outwardly calm and tell him that not only do I like him, I LOVE him!!! Duh?! But this is not the answer he is looking for. He says that of course I love him, I’m his mom. But do I like him? I spend the next 30 to 85 minutes telling him every last thing I like about him and kiss him a thousand times. Then we snuggle some more and I wait for him to fall asleep, just like the old days.

The next day I give him cookies for breakfast and write him a lovey note in his lunchbox. Then, after he gets on the bus, I decide I am going to make him some art so that he will always know how much I really like him. In fact, I am going to make one for all three of them and then also talk to my girls that night to make sure they know I really like them, too. I have work to do. I’m all over it!

I design a simple poster with hand lettering that says: I don’t just love you, I like you. A few days later, I show him Version 1 (although at the time I didn’t know it was V1). “Look what I made you! It says that I don’t just love you, I like you”. He looks at my masterpiece for a second, then says to me, “That’s just mean, mom”. Oh no, no, no. It doesn’t say I don’t love you, it says I don’t just love you. You know, like the conversation we had the other night? But he darts off with his hockey stick. Later, I show my middle daughter. She reads it and says, “I don’t get it”. More explaining. You know, how I don’t just love you but I really like you and I like being with you. She says, “You should say all that, too, because then people will understand”. Really? Now I’m feeling like my poster sucks. Well, I’ll show it to my oldest. She always has good insight and reliably constructive feedback. Guess what? She likes it! After I tell her she’s my new favorite, we laugh about what those other two said (they are so clueless!). She leaves my office and I hear her say to my son in the kitchen, “Hey, I like you!” He takes out his mouthguard and says to her, “Yeah, mom already told me that joke”. Joke? Hmmm.

I decide to start over. It needs to be a bit more clear. Version 2 is better. At least they understand it and I don’t have to explain. But all of this work has made me realize something. I think my son, with his original question, was maybe just trying to get me to spend more time with him that night. And you might think, reading this, that I am so stupid because obviously that’s what he was doing. But as the mother, you just don’t want to risk it. Maybe there was a small 2 or 7% chance that he was feeling unsure? And that right there is why parenting is the hardest job in the universe. We never really know what is going on in their heads and what they are feeling in their hearts. So why not just go overboard? Better safe than sorry. Better too much than not enough. Right?

I am not talking about praise. By now we’ve all been very enlightened by the one billion articles out there on how too much praise is bad, very bad. I am not even talking about love, which we clearly know can be dished out in loads and loads and never be too much. What I am talking about is the very thing that is actually the hardest for all of us busy parents to give, and that is time. Simply, my son just wanted my time.

This episode was a poignant reminder for me that our kids really want to know that we like being with them. Spending our precious time with them is really how we show them that they are indeed fun and interesting. They are worthwhile. For me, I like finding those small moments when we are alone and can play a quick game of tic-tac-toe, or they can show me their best dance move, or tell me about their favorite show. Just small, ordinary moments when they have my full and undivided attention.

Another way of giving our attention is paying them a compliment. It makes them feel noticed. Starting sentences with “I like…” and finding something positive to say always leads to a nice exchange. This Valentine’s day, I am challenging myself to a year of compliments. Not just for my kids, but my husband, too. (Especially him, last one on the totem pole. If you’re reading this D, I like your funky hair today.) One compliment a day, or more if the mood strikes.

Thank you for reading. Keep up the good work! Have a Happy Valentine’s Day…

…and I like your smile. ♥

14 Feb 2013By: Barbara Rucci Category: Create, Featured, For Moms, Inspire, Parenting Tags: art, compliments, hearts, parenting, Valentines

Parenting // Discipline Less + Understand More

Every once in a while, I come across something that I really feel like I need to share. This chart was created by Carol Tuttle, author of the book The Child Whisperer, which I have never read. I wish I had had this book when my girls were little to add to my parenting-book library. I’m now starting to buy the how-to-deal-with-teenagers variety. But I still have a six-year old and this chart has worked brilliantly twice already! I won’t bore you with my child’s almost-tantrums and how I avoided them, but suffice it to say that within 30 seconds of reading this chart I realized I had a sensitive little boy who wasn’t being heard by his busy mama.

I say we all print this out and hang it in the bathroom (the place I hide when I can’t take one more child crying…or the place where husbands might read it!).

Good luck mamas! And happy monday from your friend Bar ♡

12 Nov 2012By: Barbara Rucci Category: Featured, For Moms, Parenting, Read Tags: parenting advice, parenting book, The Child Whisperer

Wall of Sight Words

My son is six and learning to read. To learn his sight words, we use little cards and put about 10-15 in a baggie next to his bed. Once he knows them cold, we tape them to his wall. Now that we have so many up there, we can make full sentences!

Me: The old fly can look this way and that.

Him: People who find number two like each other. (Fits of laughter.)

Me: Many old people walk into each other. (Uncontrollable laughter.)

Him: You can just walk there to do number two. (Wetting his pants with laughter.)

As you can tell, every sentence for him involves ‘number two’ which I innocently taped next to each other. But I will take potty humor as long as there is laughter and learning!

Tip: Only put the words they know cold up on the wall, this way it makes playing the sentence game fun and not work. They are proud of their growing knowledge!

18 Oct 2012By: Barbara Rucci Category: Featured, For Moms, My Home, Read, Teach, Tips

Museums with Kids

We live about an hour from New York City, which is very lucky. One train ride and we are in the Big Apple! We try to take advantage of this perk whenever possible, although I’ve found that it was actually easier when they were little and didn’t have homework and activities. One of my favorite trips is to the MoMA. I just love this place! If you’ve never had the chance to visit the Museum of Modern Art, I would suggest planning a trip to NYC, pronto.

My kids didn’t used to jump up and down for joy when I mentioned going to a museum, but now they do because I have a museum trick! Well, it’s not really my trick, it’s one that was told to me by a wise friend. You probably already know this trick, but it’s so good that I just had to share.

Here is what you do:

When you get to the museum, go directly to the gift shop. Let your kids chose a handful of postcards that excite them. You can use this time to talk about when the piece was made, the artist’s style and color choice, and anything else that stands out. Then it’s time to go on a search! My kids love this part…finding the real art that matches the postcard. I love it, too!

These pictures are from a few years ago but I remember this day like it was yesterday. After we did our museum search, we went out for lunch at Rockefeller Plaza. They had their backpacks full of little surprises, and we had the day to ourselves…just the girls. When we got home, hot and tired, they taped their postcards to their doors. A little trick they like to do to let everyone who enters know what they have been up to. We still have the postcards, I used them this summer to decorate my studio. Have I mentioned how much I love postcards?

Right now at the MoMA (through 11/5/12) there is a wonderful exhibit called Century of the Child, a survey of 20th century design for children. With over 500 items to look at, this curated show examines the intersection of Modernist design and modern thinking about children. I can’t wait to take all three of them!

Here are some more exciting ways to use museum postcards.

Have fun!

27 Sep 2012By: Barbara Rucci Category: Explore, Featured, For Moms, Play, Teach, Travel Tags: explore, museums, postcards

The Importance of Play

I have just finished reading Nurture Shock, by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman, for the second time. Forgetting that I’d already read it, I picked it up again and was just as fascinated. It’s nothing like a parenting manual. In fact, this insightful book transcends basic child rearing. I highly recommend this book.

The authors propose (through research that they have parsed through and reviewed thoroughly) that parents and educators make small corrections in their thinking, the key being to ignore common assumptions or “maternal wisdom” about children in favor of scientific reason, much of it counterintuitive.

There are 10 very organized chapters, ranging from “The Inverse Power of Praise” to “Why Kids Lie” (this chapter is especially interesting to anyone who has a teen or pre-teen).

One of the most compelling chapters is called “Can Self-Control Be Taught?”. It sites a very interesting pre-school and kindergarten program that was developed in the 1990′s by two scholars in the Denver area. It was a technique, really, that they developed as part of a curriculum that required some training, but did not cost a penny more than a traditional curriculum. They called it “Tools of the Mind“. Initially developed for children “at risk”, the results were so staggering that researchers could not finish their study because teachers in the control groups (the ones who were not using Tools) felt that in good conscience, they must provide all children with the Tools curriculum.

What Tools of the Mind focuses on is how to help children avoid distractions. And how do Tools teachers succeed in teaching 4 and 5 year olds to focus and concentrate on an activity for an extended period of time? Through play!

For example, in one famous Russian study from the 1950′s, children were told to stand as long as possible – they lasted two minutes. But then a second group was told to pretend they were soldiers on guard who had to stand still at their posts – they lasted eleven minutes!

Another example: When small children are asked to copy something from the board, they may not think they can do it. But hand the same kid a notepad and ask them to pretend to be a waiter at a pizza parlor, they don’t think about if they can write or not – they just know they have to do something to remember those pizza orders.

Here is an excerpt that I have read over and over:

“It’s well recognized that kids today get to play less. As pressure for academic achievement has mounted, schools around the country cut back on recess to devote more time to the classroom. This created a backlash…experts arguments were straightforward: the brain needs a break, kids need to blow off energy, cutting recess increases obesity, and it’s during recess that children learn social skills. Tools suggests a different benefit entirely – that during playtime, children learn basic developmental building blocks necessary for later academic success, and in fact they develop these building blocks better while playing than in a traditional classroom.”

Through play, children learn abstract thinking, symbolic thought, high-order thinking like self-reflection, they develop an internal voice (“I can do this!”), the ability to self-analyze and to set goals. But it’s not all about managing information, either. Through the process of play, children learn to squelch frustration and anger, and to stifle inappropriate or impulsive responses.

In addition, when children get to choose their own activity (not one their parents signed them up for), they become highly motivated. And when children are motivated, they learn more.

I have always believed in the power of play. I try very hard to not let peer pressure (yes, moms feel peer pressure, too) sway me into signing my kids up for too many after-school activities. We live in a great neighborhood where they can safely walk outside on any given day and find a friend, play a game. Or they can play with their siblings. Yes, there is squabbling (there is even a chapter in the book called “The Sibling Effect”). But eventually, if I give them no other choice, they will work it out, compromise, and create roles for one another.

My best advice to any parent with school-age children: Let them play!

8 Jul 2012By: Barbara Rucci Category: Featured, For Moms, Parenting, Read, Tea Time Tags: Book, Nurture Shock, Play, power of play

Happy Mother’s Day!

My mom in Holland, 1971. My kids call her Oma. She is an incredible human being, remarkable in every way. She has taught me to stay strong, rise above it, keep trying, be grateful, smile at everyone, give generously, laugh at myself, cross at the light, stop complaining, eat my protein, cherish my marriage and, most importantly, not to worry (she does that for me). I love you, mama!

12 May 2012By: Barbara Rucci Category: Featured, For Moms, Inspire, Parenting Tags: mom, Mother's Day

An ECHOage Birthday

To continue with my birthday theme this past week (streamers are still up), I wanted to share with you our secret to a happy birthday party.

For the past three years, we have celebrated the kids’ birthdays with ECHOage, an online birthday party service whereby your child choses a charity to donate to in lieu of gifts. When the e-vite goes out, guests RSVP and immediately can contribute to the charity that your child has chosen. At the end, when the party has been “closed out”, ECHOage sends half of the donated funds to the charity, and half to your child. Simple!

From my perspective, everyone wins! No more toys to unwrap (Lord knows we all have enough toys) or to buy, easy thank-you notes to write (you can have your child write one note, make copies, then just add in the givers name), your child learns the value of giving and receiving, we can help those in need, and…your child can go to the toy store (or Apple store, depending on age!) with money in hand and chose something they have always wanted.

I made this poster for the little guy for his party. We displayed it as a reminder of how much all of his friends helped.

Spread the love of ECHOage!